If you know me, you know that I have the weirdest dreams from time to time. Dreams about such nonsense events, dreams that don't make sense, dreams that are thankfully dreams and are not reality, and occasionally dreams that would be brilliant to become reality.
Wow I haven't written on my blog or posted any of my knitting stuff here in a while. Do me a favor and look up the word nightmare in a thesaurus. Check out all of those synonyms: torture, hell, misery...
I had a nightmare last night. Thinking about it makes my eyes water as my throat swells holding in my breath. I dreamt Jae died. We were on vacation and I'm not quite sure how he died but it felt incredibly real. I cried so much that when my eyelids opened at 5:30am I was crying in reality as well. I kept crying over and over attempting to figure out what really was going on. Jae awoke and comforted me as he was half asleep. I left the room and went to the bathroom to get my emotional state vacuumed out of my dream and turn to reality. Boy, were my eyes blazing red when I looked in the mirror. I took a number of deep breaths and decided to take the risk to go back to sleep hoping I wouldn't fall back into the same dream. Thankfully I didn't.
But, having that dream really disturbed me. I haven't stop thinking about my sweet Jae baby today. Because I had that dream, it makes me even more thankful for our relationship. I thank God we are together and forever will be together. We're going to die into each other arms when we're 79 years old, the summer of '69 (Bryan Adams)...as that song will be played at our funeral.
